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The Shameless Mom Academy

Sara Dean launched the Shameless Mom Academy to help moms lead more positive, powerful and purposeful lives #everydamnday. Sara is an award winning fitness professional, author, speaker, and transformation coach who spent the last 16+ years serving moms in the fields of psychology, sociology, health & wellness. But, it took becoming a mom herself in 2012 to learn that - holy cow - this is hard work, and if you’re not paying attention you can completely lose your own sense of identity while raising babies. Join Sara every Monday and Wednesday as she and her notable guests (such as Gretchen Rubin, Carrie Wilkerson, JJ Virgin, Susan Hyatt, Cathy Heller, Nichole Nordeman, Melanie Shankle, and Jadah Sellner) dig deep into topics like creating the confidence you crave; turn your struggles into strengths, building better boundaries, and tuning into tiny habits that can change your life. Discover how why thousands of moms all over the world are turning to The Shameless Mom Academy to live bigger, bolder, braver lives #everydamnday.
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Jul 29, 2019

Women are raised to believe we should make other people comfortable.  We should be caretakers of others needs and desires and feelings - even when it comes at a cost to our own needs, desires, and feelings.

Because of this indoctrination early in our lives, we also take it upon ourselves to make sure that we don’t outshine others - because that could make them feel bad or less than.  Instead, we let ourselves feel bad and less than. 

We make it a priority to make other people comfortable.  And in many cases this means we shrink and play small in front of others.  We don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable and we certainly don’t want anyone to judge us for shining too brightly. 

So, we stay small, quiet, dull, demure instead - because showing up as bold, bright, big, brave feels too risky.

Here are some instances in which you might make others uncomfortable with your shininess and badassery, as well as put yourself at risk of other people’s judgment:

  • when you lose weight
  • when you run a 5K, 10K or a marathon
  • when you quit your job to stay home with your kids
  • when you make a lot of money
  • when you write a book
  • when you start your own business
  • when you go for a promotion
  • when you go back to school to get an advanced degree
  • when you put your child in full-time childcare
  • when you go on an epic vacation
  • when you take every Friday off
  • when you get weekly massage
  • when you buy your kid something fancy/”spoil” them
  • when you buy a bigger house
  • when you buy a tiny house
  • when you announce you’re a photographer/event planner/jewelry designer/lifecoach/blogger/podcaster, speaker, writer
  • when you say you want to be a mogul

Have you ever achieved one of these items and intentionally not shared it with others?  You kept is small and private out of fear that others would be uncomfortable with your success or achievement and/or that they might pass judgment on you and dull your shine?

I want to encourage you to reframe how you think about other people's opinions.  It’s not your job to tend to other people’s opinions.  In fact, you should pay them no mind.

It’s not your job to make other people comfortable.  Their discomfort is about them, not you.  And it’s their responsibility, not yours.

It’s not your job to play small and stay small because others can’t or won’t step up and shine.

Your job is to SHINE LIKE A MOTHER.

And when you do so you will become a mirror that attracts people who want to see you in all your big, bold, brave badassery.  When you start attracting these kinds of people, you will continue to be able to shine in brighter ways for all your days.

Listen in for a deeper dive and 4 ways to deal with the uncomfortable, judgy people in your life.

Thank you to our sponsors:

  • Talkspace: To match with your perfect therapist for a fraction of the price of traditional therapy, go to Talkspace, Make sure to use the code SHAMELESS to get $65 off your first month and show your support for the show.
  • Rothy’s: To get free shipping on any order of Rothy’s shoes, as well as free returns, go to Rothy’s and use the code SHAMELESS at checkout.
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