Let’s be honest… growth is scary. It involves dancing with the unknown. Yuck, right? I’d rather dance alone in the safe isolation of my bathroom, thank you very much.
But growth is also incredibly rewarding. Growth shows you what you are capable of. It proves to you that you are strong, gifted, talented, and worthy in ways you didn’t know. This can be a game changer.
So, why do we stay stuck in fear when it comes to growth?
I think we fear growth because a lot of the most influential people in our lives also fear growth. They didn’t/don’t model growth to us. They modeled complacency. Complacency seems safer, more secure. Let’s not take chances. Let’s not risk failing. Let’s not make mistakes.
When I stopped fearing growth and started taking chances, I found new people to surround myself with. People who were committed to doing new things in unconventional ways - in order to let their unique gifts and talents SHINE.
I saw women around me breaking the mold. And I became friends with those women. Then I started breaking the mold too.
This is how you step out of fear and into growth. You find the places where you can be connected and supported by other people who don’t want to stay in fear, who don’t want to be isolated in constant self doubt, who won’t settle the way things have always been.
And from there, you start to believe in the possibility of a new reality and new rules. You start to believe that you are a trailblazer and a change maker. That you can grow and thrive in any direction you want.
Listen in to hear 3 reasons moms secretly fear growth and how you can overcome your fears around growth.
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Pauline Cheung is a women’s leadership speaker and coach on a mission to show professional women how to trust their voices and create professional and personal success – without conceding to people-pleasing and perfectionism.
Despite 12+ years as an international executive working with Fortune 500 C-suite and senior-level leaders in the areas of strategy, marketing, and business development, Pauline comes from humble beginnings. She knows how challenging it is to step into the unknown and navigate the fear of failure and judgment. Her deep compassion for women wrestling with similar desires and demons helps her coaching clients and audience members break out of their fears and step into full visibility as their unique and brilliant selves.
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Earlier this year I received two mental health diagnoses. One did not surprise me at all, but the second did.
I have been processing and thinking through the gift of diagnosis a lot over the last few months. Yes, the gift of diagnosis.
Receiving these diagnoses was more affirming and validating than I ever could have imagined. Instead of feeling plagued by some parts of myself that have been bewildering since I was very young, I now feel stronger and more connected to who I truly am and WHY I am who I truly am.
What a relief!
My mental health diagnoses are not my weaknesses, they are my superpowers. Because of them I am more compassionate, more empathetic, more conscientious, more thoughtful, more intentional, more talented in unique ways, more creative, more adaptable to things others can’t adapt to, more capable in ways others aren’t, and more sensitive to the world and other people in so many ways that make me a better citizen.
So, ye, I am delighted by my diagnoses - and everything that comes with them. Including medication.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. I am sharing my story with you because mental health diagnoses are not something to be ashamed of. And mental health diagnoses are not uncommon - which I learned quickly as I shared my story with friends over the last few months and had so many of them quickly reply “me too.”
My hope is that this episode provides light and hope for anyone who might be struggling to see all their gifts right now. You are not alone.
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Trudi Lebron is an entrepreneur, coach, consultant, podcaster, and speaker working with social impact leaders, and transformative coaches who want to increase the impact of their efforts. Trudi is the creator and head coach of BeABoss a personal and professional development program for Millennial Women of Color, works with entrepreneurs to help them start social impact businesses, and supports social impact executives with leadership coaching, strategic planning, and creating systems and practices to bring alignment between your personal values and the way you work.
I asked Trudi to come on the show because I knew her story around motherhood as well as the deep impact of her professional work. I have been dying to interview her for a couple years now - and I can tell you this conversation was worth the wait!
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I’m not going to pretend that boundaries are easy. They are tricky and sticky and often intimidating. But boundaries are also the KEY to liberating our time and energy and mental space.
Telling you to simply “have better boundaries” is not helpful. It’s like telling a worry wart to “just stop worrying.”
So, instead of telling you to have better boundaries, I’m going to give you three actionable steps you can take to start building better and more brave boundaries.
I want you to have more time, energy, and mental space for YOU, as well as for the things and people who deserve the best parts of you.
Listen in to learn 3 steps you can take to build braver boundaries #everydamnday.
As you implement these over time, you’ll find that you feel increased ease and power throughout your days and within your relationships. This will feel totally liberating, my friend!
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Alison Tedford is an author, marketing consultant, and mom from Abbotsford, BC, Canada. Her work has been published on AlJazeera, CBC, Upworthy, and Today's Parent, and her debut book, Chronic Profit, is being released by Self Counsel Press in April 2021.
I have been following Alison online for a couple years now. She has always stood out to me as a leader and a truth teller. She speaks up to share her perspective even when it’s not comfortable. She is sassy and smart as a whip as she shares her experiences living as an entrepreneurial, Indigenious single mom with a disability. I deeply appreciate Alison’s work and her voice and I’m so honored to have her here with us for this conversation.
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I don’t want to squash your dreaming. Dreaming is beautiful and powerful and necessary.
But…
Sometimes our dreams can be intimidating. We see them out there and they look inviting and delicious - and also terrifying.
I want to run a marathon - but how do I go from running 3 miles to running 26.2 miles?
I want to write a book - but how do I write an opening paragraph, let alone 300 pages?
I want to go back to school - but how do I find the time and money to commit to 2 more years of education?
Too often we hold our dreams as long term (seemingly impossible) visions with no action plan.
We put off the doing required to achieve our dreams because we don’t know where to start. We don’t know what the first step should be - and all the first steps we can think of feel like massive scary leaps. And massive scary leaps sound hard. So, we decide to just wait…
And often - too often - the dream dies.
In this episode, we will talk about how to move from dreaming to doing by taking specific small action steps to get started moving in the direction of your dreams.
Are you ready to GET STARTED???
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Jessica's superpower is making brain science accessible and entertaining for children and adults alike. She is living this out as a clinical supervisor, nationally known speaker, author, and Shameless Mom of 3. She is also the founder and director of the training and resource platform BraveBrains.
This is Jessica’s second time on the show. I was so excited to have her back because talking to her about brain science is so incredibly helpful and insightful. Learning from Jessica makes me a better woman, leader, and mom.
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Perhaps you’ve noticed that with changing times have come changing needs, changing goals, and changing desires.
With that, perhaps you notice you’re saying YES to new things - and NO to new things.
Some of my yeses and no’s and have definitely shifted over the last year. In fact, I find myself saying yes to some things I thought I would never say yes to. Funny wildly unusual circumstances paired with a cultural uprising will make you rethink almost everything.
As you make space for new yeses, you’ll notice you’ll also be required to say no to new things in order to make space for those yeses. This is a process of discernment that requires you look closely at your core values so you can understand why each yes and each no is important to you right now.
Listen in to hear 9 things I’m saying yes to right now. It’s my hope that this may inspire your YESES (and no’s!)
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Maya Luque is a strategist. She helps businesses craft smart, perceptive ways of communicating. The focus of her work is to help businesses build strong, long-lasting relationships with their customers. She has an M.F.A. and has created over 100 sculptures and installations. Her background as an artist helps her guide people towards an emotion; to help them feel connected. Art is great for strategy because art history is full of telling and re-inventing stories, themes, emotions. Maya has a passion for observing the ever-shifting puzzle of trends, human nature, and people.
Maya is also the author of The Heart Of The Matter: EMDR Through An Adoptee's Eyes. She shared her book with me on social media asking if I would be interested in sharing it with my audience. I immediately knew I didn’t only want to share the book, I wanted to share Maya’s voice and entire story. I asked Maya if she would be up for this interview. I’m so honored that she said yes. Her book and her story are so important.
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Ever since I read Michelle Obama’s book two years ago, I have been obsessed with this notion of becoming.
We are always becoming. There is no way around it.
Sometimes we are becoming more the person we know we want to be. Other times not so much.
Sometimes we are becoming a person we did not want to be. Maybe even a person we feared we would be one day.
What we must remind ourselves everyday is that WE GET TO CHOOSE.
You have many times each day where you make choices that take you closer to or further from the person you want to become. This is comforting because at any time you can course correct.
Make a crappy decision at 10 am? No worries. You can make a better one at 10:02.
While that sounds super simple and maybe even annoyingly idealistic, it’s true.
What matters most is your trend of becoming over time.
So, what is your trend? And is it heading in the direction you want it to?
I have a task for you. As you listen to this episode, you will gain clarity on who you want to become and HOW to become her. Listen in and do the task. Then let me know, how are you becoming?
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Kim Evey is a Los Angeles-based actor, writer, and stand up comedian. She has appeared in numerous commercials and TV shows, written for children's animation, and created and starred in one of the first web series on Sony's Crackle.com entitled "Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show." She produced Felicia Day's trailblazing series "The Guild," a web show so successful that it was actually put on display in The Smithsonian American History Museum. As a stand up comedian, Kim's online clips have been viewed over 8 million times. She is the proud Mom of a boy who is five going on fifteen.
I met Kim through a story telling event where she shared her journey into motherhood through adoption. Her story touched me so deeply. I knew I had to invite her onto the show. What I didn’t know at the time was that Kim is also an adoptee. She was adopted from an orphanage in Korea when she was 2. Her journey from adoptee to adoptive mom so beautifully demonstrates the magic of adoption.
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Episode art credit: Kevin McIntyre
“Sara, I’ve been getting your emails for 7 years and I’m finally ready to sign up for your program.”
This is the email I got from a prospective gym member back when I had my gym.
This woman had been waiting for 7 year - SEVEN YEARS - to finally qualify herself to change her life.
She came in to check out the gym a few days later and we immediately hit it off. After about 10 minutes, she confided in me, “I can’t believe I waited so long. I keep thinking where I would be if I just decided to start earlier. I’m so mad at myself.”
I have to tell you, I have had this conversation with so many women. We excel at waiting, don’t we??
Waiting to join the gym.
Waiting to go for the promotion.
Waiting to ask for the raise.
Waiting to ask for help.
Waiting to start the hobby.
Waiting to take time for yourself.
Waiting to take a chance.
Waiting to say YES.
Waiting to say NO.
Waiting to do what you want to do even if no one else gets it.
Waiting to go for it even if no one believes in you.
Waiting to choose yourself.
You know you want more - but you’re afraid of failure, worried what others might say, and filled with self doubt.
You wait because you think there will be a better time, a better option, another chance.
You tell yourself you’ll be more ready next week, next month, next year.
You watch others go before you and you decide they are more capable, more qualified, more worthy.
And you wait.
While you wait, you compromise your dreams, your desires, your sense of self
While you wait you chip away at your happiness and your worth.
The waiting is ruining your life.
I’m here to invite you to STOP WAITING.
Listen in to hear how you can stop waiting and start living a fuller life without regret.
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Shannon Kenny Carbonell grew up in Sydney, Australia, and moved to the U.S at 18 to study acting. After earning a BFA in Theater from The California Institute of the Arts (CalArts), she worked in regional theater where she had the privilege of playing some classic roles like Nina in The Seagull, Julie in Miss Julie, and Helena in A Midsummer Night’s Dream. She then transitioned into television guest star roles, one of her favorites being Katrina Banks on HBO’s Dream On— a parody of Courtney Love—where she got to shoot heroin between her toes, sing in a music video with Brian Benben, and (being the excitable girl she was) experience the thrill of meeting Warren Zevon. Her other favorite guest star role was playing Alison, George’s girlfriend, on NBC’s Seinfeld. Shannon was cast in series regular roles on TV shows and if she fails to rank the show Muscle as her best experience, she’d risk offending her wonderful husband Nestor, whom you might recognize from his role on LOST, or more recently on The Morning Show; it was on this show the two of them defied producers orders to not date other cast members. After many roles in movies and TV, Shannon pushed pause on acting to focus on motherhood while Nestor was traveling to film LOST. Shannon and Nestor currently live in Los Angeles with their two sons Rafa and Marco and their dog Donna Borrelli Carbonell. Shannon just published her first book All Is Not LOST, which talks about her journey into motherhood and her journey back to herself and all the ways her life paralleled the show LOST, which has been so near and dear to their family.
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Last week, we had to very quickly and unexpectedly say goodbye to our sweet dog of 14 years, Granny Dani.
Our hearts are broken.
My husband and I lost our first baby - this creature we doted on with all of our love and affection before welcoming Vinnie 6 years later.
Vinnie lost his sister - his best friend with whom he spent hours each day, snuggling and singing fart songs (that no one else in our house wanted to hear…)
We didn’t realize how much space our sweet girl took up in our home and our hearts until she was gone. Every room I walk into seems so big and so empty without her. Piper, our puppy, roams from room to room and dog bed to dog bed searching for her sister.
Our family is grieving for sure. But there have also been many gifts over the last week that have made this loss beautiful in unexpected ways. These gifts make the grief bearable.
We have all lost something over the last year. We are all grieving. I made this episode thinking of all the ways we all are grieving, in hopes that it might help you find the gifts in moments of loss that feel absolutely unbearable.
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Tiffany Bluhm is the author of She Dreams, Never Alone, and her newest book Prey Tell: Why We Silence Women Who Tell the Truth and How Everyone Can Speak Up. She is a sought after speaker, writer, and podcast co-host of the popular podcast Why Tho, a show answering the existential and nonsensical questions we ask ourselves, with author and speaker, Ashley Abercrombie.
She speaks at conferences and events around the world, and her work has been featured in World Vision Magazine, TODAY Parents, the Hallmark Channel, The Jenny McCarthy Show, and more. She was named a Woman to Watch in 2018 by Premier Media.
Tiffany leads an engaged audience online around women’s issues, identity, and faith. As a minority, immigrant woman with a interracial family, she is passionate about women’s equality, justice, and dignity.
Listen in to hear Tiffany share:
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Tiffany’s podcast: Why Tho
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When you spend a year (or any season of life) worrying about what’s next and wondering how you’ll manage all the things you cannot control, you are likely to find yourself in exhausting cycles of fear and doubt. Then, to combat the worry and fear and doubt, you find ways to numb so that you may quiet the fear and the doubt.
This happens to us in the year after having a baby, the season after losing an important relationship, and certainly after a year of enduring a pandemic.
This leaves us feeling stuck as all get out - stuck in our heads, stuck in poor habits, and stuck in a life without much joy on the horizon.
At a certain point, you have to decide that you will stop staying stuck. You will take action to start moving forward. You will process the season you’ve been in so that you may move forward with less fear, less doubt, and better coping skills.
Also, you will create joy. Because joy matters. Even when you’re too tired to plan the joy, you need the joy. Create the joy, dammit.
In this episode, I’ll walk you through 3 ways you are likely staying stuck right now and how to get unstuck.
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As a podcast visibility expert and host of the Go Pitch Yourself podcast, Angie Trueblood knows that the only 'perfect pitch' is the one that leads with value and focuses on building a genuine connection. Whether she is teaching entrepreneurs how to pitch themselves or working behind the scenes to secure opportunities for others, Angie leverages her super-connector powers to grow businesses and build long-lasting relationships. When she's not working with her clients or being active in her local community, she loves exploring Richmond, Virginia's parks and playgrounds with her two kiddos, checking out new restaurants with her hubs, and laughing about motherhood over cocktails with friends.
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5 years ago today I launched the first episode of The Shameless Mom Academy. To be honest, if it hadn’t been for a pushy coach I would likely still be saying, “I think I’m going to do a podcast soon.”
Starting is the only way to find the magic and I’m so glad I started when I did. I wasn’t quite sure what I was doing and I wasn’t quite sure why I was doing it. I only knew I had some things to say.
I wanted - no, needed - to talk about the trauma of motherhood. It had shaken me to my core. Nobody warned me about that part. Everyone told me I would be tired. No one told me I would be completely lost.
I also needed to talk about the shrinking of women. I was pissed that I had been a participant in an industry that thrives - to the tune of many billions of dollars a year - on telling women they must be smaller in order to be valuable.
So, yeah - I had things to say.
5 years, 264 powerhouse guests, 528 episodes, 3.5 million downloads.
I’ve a few learned things - and most of them haven’t been easy lessons. In today's birthday episode I will share the top 5 lessons I’ve learned on leadership and motherhood over the last year.
Thank you for listening and inviting me in to your ear week after week. It is a privilege I do not take lightly. I’m so honored to be on this Shameless journey with you.
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As an award-winning business strategist, host of the Promote Yourself to CEO podcast, and best-selling author, Racheal Cook is on a mission to end entrepreneurial poverty for women. Over the last 10 years she has helped thousands of female entrepreneurs design predictably profitable businesses without the hustle and burnout that doing #allthethings inevitably accomplishes. In fact, Racheal is a sought after speaker on entrepreneurship, marketing, and productivity and has been featured by the US Chamber of Commerce, Forbes Coaching Council, Female Entrepreneur Association, and more. Her real passion, though, is supporting savvy, soulful women as they implement the strategy, systems, and support to uncomplicate their business so they can work less and live more.
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I have repeatedly likened our survival of this pandemic to our survival of Newbornland. We have endured a year of uncertainty and upheaval. We have made accommodations and adaptations to our lives that we never imagined - and often thought were not possible (hello virtual learning).
This has taken a toll on us physically, mentally, and emotionally. And, like surviving Newbornland, we cannot fully process the toll it has taken because we have had to focus on keeping our family units alive and safe - without having the time or energy to give any consideration to our own deep and chronic exhaustion.
We have carried the worry of our family’s health, security, and sanity as we have wondered how much worse things could get. And then we watched them get worse.
We have worried about the lasting impact of this pandemic on our children’s mental health, without considering that we ourselves are also moving through a chronic traumatic event.
We have used wine and workouts and Netflix and sourdough starter as coping mechanisms in hopes of a moment of reprieve.
We have cried in closets and bathrooms, and screamed at the people we love the most, and thrown in the towel as we’ve thrown ourselves on the floor, and then picked the damn towel back up and dried our tears and tucked our kids into bed - for 365 nights now.
We are not ok.
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Heather Chauvin is a leadership coach and strategic parenting expert who helps ambitious women become leaders at work and home.
Drawing from her professional experience as a social worker and her life experience raising three boys, Heather created a signature approach to focus her clients on sustainability, profitability, and ease in business and life.
She is the host of the Mom Is In Control Podcast where she reveals her most vulnerable truths about womanhood, marriage, parenting, living through stage 4 cancer, and running a successful business—without burning out.
Heather has been featured as a TEDx speaker and on The OWN Network, CTV, and The Jenny McCarthy Show. She has also appeared in Entrepreneur and Real Simple.
When Heather isn’t being a classic Canadian by driving her boys to hockey practice, you’ll find her curled up on the couch with her husband surfing the internet, researching their next family adventure.
Heather is a returning guest to The Shameless Mom Academy. She’s joining us to talk about her outstanding new book, Dying To Be A Good Mother.
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People are going to tell you NO.
You will be rejected.
Over and over and over.
One of the gifts of being an entrepreneur is that you get rejected so often (especially early on) that you get a little callous to it - meaning, you let it roll off you easier and faster each time. This is a blessing.
Without this gift (which definitely doesn’t feel like a gift early on), you may find yourself crippled by the NO’s.
The rejection you face often has nothing - NOTHING - to do with you. Yet we are masters at internalizing it and defaulting to a place of self blame and self doubt, and sadly, even self loathing when we are faced with a NO.
In this episode I’ll talk you through the actual causes of rejection (vs the stories you make up in your head) and 5 ways to manage rejection in an objective way so you can KEEP GOING and get what you want out of relationships and circumstances.
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Nikki Tucker is a 16 year Finance Professional, Divorce Financial Strategist, and founder of The FIIRM Approach. She is also a mom of a teenage boy, part-time foodie, and oat milk latte lover who helps female breadwinners prepare their finances for divorce. She helps those early in the divorce process gain clarity and reduce overwhelm by arming them with information, strategies, and resources to confidently maintain their financial security whether they end up divorced or not. Nikki primarily works with clients through her signature program Silent Preparation Series which has both on-demand and live learning options.
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If you were to sit down and make a list of all the identities you hold, what would be on your list? I made a quick list recently.
I hold the following identities (in no particular order):
woman, mom, wife, infertility warrior, anxiety manager, speaker, leader, hetero, cisgender, white, Seattleite, athlete, skier, writer, ally, podcaster, daughter, sister, business owner, child of divorce, 18 year entrepreneur, CEO, advocate
I’m sure I could come up with even more layers to my identity if I gave it more thought. We are made up of SO MANY layers. This makes each of us a true unicorn.
As we navigate our lives, we have the opportunity to embrace different layers of our identity in different ways during different seasons of life. What layers are you leaning into right now? What ones are most significant to you as we sit here in 2021?
You get to choose which parts of yourself you really want to lean into at any time. So, how do you lean into the most powerful parts of yourself? Here are a few tips:
In this episode, I talk you through how to lean into the layers of your identity that mean the most to you and have the most potential to deeply impact the world.