When things get hard, you know how to show up. You know what matters most. You know where to set boundaries. You know what you stand for. You know how to prioritize your time and your efforts.
You have weathered some big storms in your day and you always come out stronger on the other side.
You set boundaries because you know what matters most right now and you know when the risks outweigh the benefits and when the benefits outweigh the risks.
You are not afraid to take uncomfortable action because you are a mama bear who knows what it means to go after what you and your family need most.
You are being tested in big ways right now.
Really big ways.
But it's ok.
You got this.
Because you know who you are. And you will continue returning to your roots.
You will continue to lean into your core values.
You will continue to be someone who does the right thing for your family and for the greater good.
You may cry.
You may bleed.
But that does not dampen or dim the torch you are carrying that will lead you to the next place you need to land.
You have seen hard times before. And you have found the cracks in order to let in the light. You are not someone who shies away from shining when the going gets tough.
If you can keep returning to who you are you will continue to be comforted by your own strength and power and tenacity.
Promise.
Sheri Gazitt is a Shameless Mom of 3, the founder of Teen Wise and is dedicated to guiding teens and parents through the ups and downs of adolescence. She advocates for teen mental wellness by advising foundations, appearing on TV, Radio, and podcasts, presenting to parents and teens, and writing for magazines both off and online. Coach Sheri also provides private coaching for teen girls to help them find their inner joy, tame stress, claim their confidence, and navigate friendships. Her latest program encourages parents to create space for their teen’s inner joy by resisting the rat race and prioritizing mental wellness over GPA's and college applications.
Sheri’s mission is powerful and so necessary right now. Her work to reframe joy and connection for teens and parents is critical.
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Fear doesn’t get to drive.
In unpredictable and unprecedented times, fear is normal - and even healthy. Fear will sit right beside you, keeping an eye out for you, making sure you are awake and alert. Fear might be in your front seat, but fear does not get to drive your car.
As Marie Forleo says in Everything Is Firgureoutable, “Fear is not the enemy. Waiting to stop feeling afraid is.”
If you’re waiting to stop feeling afraid, you will waste a lot of precious time. You will miss out on joy. You will be blind to opportunities that are right in front of you.
In this episode, we will talk about how you can embrace fear, tame fear, and find joy with fear sitting right beside you.
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Mikaela Kiner is a Shameless Mom of two teens, a certified executive coach, and experienced consultant. In 2015, Mikaela founded Reverb, a leading provider of flexible HR services for startups and growing companies in the Pacific Northwest. An HR professional for nearly twenty years, Mikaela enjoys coaching leaders at all levels and helping companies build healthy, inclusive cultures. She's been quoted in Fast Company, the Wall Street Journal, and The Muse, and is a member of the Forbes Human Resources Council. She’s the author Female Firebrands: Stories and Techniques to Ignite Change, Take Control, and Succeed in the Workplace.
Mikaela has coached leaders at all levels who want to live and lead in a purposeful way based on their values. By acting as a sounding board and accountability partner, she supports her coaching clients in achieving their goals. She particularly enjoys working with entrepreneurs, executives, and high potential women leaders.
Mikaela lives in Seattle and is happily married to Henry, who’s a musician, artist, and teacher. Their two children are good at challenging the status quo and are a constant source of learning and laughter. She is a strong believer that a healthy, inclusive culture is integral to the success of every organization.
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For those of us who enjoy control and predictability in life, these are tough (if not excruciating) times. We are living in a pandemic - something I ignorantly and blissfully thought only existed in history books and Bible stories…
But, friends, we are still living. Just under very different circumstances than we are used to.
Know this - we are standing at the start line of a marathon. We need to show up prepared to pace ourselves, stay nourished & hydrated and - most importantly - keep our head game STRONG.
Some of you have heard the story of my one and only marathon. At mile 2 I decided I didn’t really feel like running anymore. I was just over it… And the following 4+ hours were absolutely grueling. I couldn’t mentally recover, which made me physically deteriorate at a rapid pace.
In the case of COVID-19, we cannot afford to deteriorate at the start line, or at mile 2. We will need to be extremely intentional and diligent in managing our energy and expectations. We will need to be nimble, adaptable, and creative. We will need to create boundaries around the places (namely the internet) and people who drain us or create unnecessary fear, panic or anxiety within us.
We also need to take radical responsibility for seeking hope and happiness during this marathon. If we are to sustain ourselves over the coming months, we must be able to find the cracks where the light is begging to come in. I promise they exist - but you will need to actively seek them out.
I am in Seattle - the US epicenter of COVID-19. Our city is pretty much shut down. It is hard and heavy. And there is light. I can see the cracks. If I can see the cracks you can too.
Listen in to learn 5 ways to find light in the darkness of COVID-19. Also, please join me for our upcoming free Hope, Happiness & Mental Health Challenge (sign up: shamelessmom.com/challenge). We start Monday, March 23rd. This challenge is the light you’re looking for.
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Gerard + Jessie Pepper have been partners in crime since 2005. Their relationship started over a clean pile of laundry, and now they dish about life, love and how to keep from losing your mind on a podcast called Marriage Is Funny. Gerard loves his day job as a financial actuary, and Jessie continues to build her career as a lifestyle expert and online brand at StyleAndPepper.com. They enjoy preaching and speaking whenever possible, are always happiest while hosting friends and family in their home, and love being enthusiastic pet-parents to a rescue pup named Sadie Mae.
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‘Tis the season of disappointing other people. Fa la la la la….
As my platform has grown so has my exposure to judgement. In my personal and professional life, there are people who have been disappointed in me, even angry with me, over the last year or so.
I will be honest with you, this kind of thing used to really eat me up inside. I’m not going to tell you that I’m super-cool with people being upset with me now. But I can tell you that I have done a lot of work to be ok with some people being mad at me - and me NOT OWNING their feelings.
The truth is this: a person’s emotions are their own responsibility. I have repeatedly found that the people who are disappointed in me or angry with me have one or more of these things in common:
For these folks, I will forgive them in order to make peace in my own life so I can move forward. I will not make space for their energy or abuse, In fact, I will actively distance and separate myself from it. And, most importantly, I will not take responsibility for their emotions.
If I hurt someone or cause someone harm, I will own that and apologize. I will take radical responsibility for myself and my actions - but not for others reactions to my actions.
This is what it looks like to have boundaries. This is what it looks like to be a grown-up. It is not easy. But it is the only way to show all the way up for those who matter most to me. I would be doing myself and my loved ones a massive disservice if I took on my haters anger or displaced feelings. The same goes for you.
How do you stay in your own way when it comes to other people’s opinions and judgments of you? You must take radical responsibility for that. This episode will teach you how.
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Parijat Deshpande is Shameless Mom and the leading high-risk pregnancy expert, mind-body health specialist, trauma professional, speaker and author who teaches women how to deactivate their stress response before, during and after a high-risk pregnancy so they can give their baby a strong start to life. Her unique approach has served hundreds of women to manage pregnancy complications and reclaim a safety and trust in their bodies that they thought was eroded forever. Parijat is the author of bestselling book Pregnancy Brain: A Mind-Body Approach to Stress Management During a High-Risk Pregnancy. She is also the host of the popular podcast Delivering Miracles®, that discusses the real, raw side of family-building including infertility, loss, high-risk pregnancy, bed rest, prematurity and healing once baby comes home.
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You have probably heard the saying, “The only way out is through.”
I would add to this that the only way into your power is through the pain and discomfort of growth.
Power, achievement, growth, and success only come from putting yourself in situations that push you in new ways. And that can be ridiculously hard and scary. For me, there are often nearly impossible nerves to overcome, a racing heart that makes me unable to speak, a belly that cannot stop flip-flopping, and legs that won’t stop shaking.
The more dramatic the symptoms, the more I know I’ll grow through the discomfort.
Case in point: as I’ve taken up new challenges in skiing this year, I’ve experienced all the above symptoms very regularly. And I hate it. I hate it to the point that I get angry. Also, I’m growing in the biggest ways since I started skiing - as a skier, an athlete, and a woman who is becoming more powerful in all areas of life through actively embracing fear.
It’s really hard. But I’m HERE. FOR. IT.
If you want more power in your life you will have to get more uncomfortable. You will have to do hard things. There is no way around it. It is only through the consistent exposure to scary and hard things that we get to see who we are becoming, how much potential we have for success, and what kind of true joy we are capable of creating for ourselves.
Listen in to hear how I’m using exposure therapy to face my biggest fears this year - and how it’s changing the game for me.
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