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The Shameless Mom Academy

Sara Dean launched the Shameless Mom Academy to help moms lead more positive, powerful and purposeful lives #everydamnday. Sara is an award winning fitness professional, author, speaker, and transformation coach who spent the last 16+ years serving moms in the fields of psychology, sociology, health & wellness. But, it took becoming a mom herself in 2012 to learn that - holy cow - this is hard work, and if you’re not paying attention you can completely lose your own sense of identity while raising babies. Join Sara every Monday and Wednesday as she and her notable guests (such as Gretchen Rubin, Carrie Wilkerson, JJ Virgin, Susan Hyatt, Cathy Heller, Nichole Nordeman, Melanie Shankle, and Jadah Sellner) dig deep into topics like creating the confidence you crave; turn your struggles into strengths, building better boundaries, and tuning into tiny habits that can change your life. Discover how why thousands of moms all over the world are turning to The Shameless Mom Academy to live bigger, bolder, braver lives #everydamnday.
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Now displaying: April, 2019
Apr 29, 2019

I talk a *lot* about perfectionism and how it shows up for me.  The more I talk about it the more I hear you all saying, “ME TOO!!!” 

If you tend to be a perfectionist and or high achiever and/or Type A kinda gal, this episode will speak to you.  It might even scream at you…

There are three BIG mistakes that I see perfectionist/high achiever/Type A women make over and over.  These are mistakes that we make even when we think we’ve overcome our perfectionism.  I mean, let’s be honest, we’re all works in progress and old habits DIE HARD. 

Here are the 3 BIG mistakes I see a lot of us (yep, including me) make over and over:

  1. We’re constantly waiting for the “right time” to take action in our life
  2. We listen to fear instead of embracing resistance
  3. We don’t give ourselves space & grace we truly need to evolve

If any of this speaks to you - this episode is a must listen.  Make sure to let me know how this conversation landed for you.  I always love hearing from you!

Thank you to our sponsors:

  • Openfit: Join the Openfit 30 day challenge and get a special extended 30 day free trial membership to Openfit when you text SHAMELESS to 303030.
  • Grove Collaborative: For a limited time, my listeners get a 3-piece cleaning set from Mrs. Meyer’s spring scents, a free 60-day VIP membership, and a surprise bonus gift just for you when you sign up and place an order of $20 or more. Check out Grove and our special offer at Grove.
Apr 24, 2019

As an entrepreneur, bestselling author, speaker, and Shameless Mom, Kate Northrup has built a multimedia digital empire with her husband, Mike Watts, that reaches hundreds of thousands globally. They are committed to supporting ambitious women to light up the world without burning themselves out in the process. Kate teaches data-driven and soul-driven time and energy management practices that result in saving time, making more money, and experiencing less stress.

Kate recently birthed her second book into the world, Do Less: A Revolutionary Approach to Time and Energy Management for Busy Moms I’m telling you, you need this book in your life. 

Kate’s name has been on my 2019 Dream Guest List - and as luck would have it, her team reached out to me before we got around to reaching out to her.  When I told her about this, she said, “Oh yeah!  That’s called egg wisdom.”  To which I replied, “Huh?!?”  She told me all about egg wisdom later in the interview and it was simply fascinating. 

Kate is going to open your mind up in a few new directions today and I can’t wait to hear how this resonates with you.  Definitely let me know!

Listen in to hear Kate share:

  • Why it pays to pay more attention to your period and how to tap into the ways it gives you renewed energy and productivity
  • How to tap into your “egg wisdom” to attract more of what you want without working harder
  • How mother’s brains are rewired and how to use this to your advantage
  • The power of doing less to accomplish more

Links mentioned:

Thank you to our sponsors:

  • Hylands: For more information about Hylands, visit Hylands.
  • Cheers Health: Visit Cheers Health and Enter promo code SHAMELESS at checkout to Get 10% off your first order and a free gift.
Apr 22, 2019

Dear Perfectionist Friend,

I SEE you.

I see you stuck in your mess. 

I see you holding all those dreams, but crippled by analysis paralysis every time you think about taking the next step. 

I see you waiting until just the right time to take the next right step - yet never actually finding just the right time. 

I see you wanting more and feeling nervous, sometimes even terrified, about going after more. 

I see you worrying about what others might think if you flop. 

I see you anxiously stuffing your dreams into deep hiding places because you think you might fail. 

If you want to know how I can see you so clearly, it’s because I AM you. 

I know what it’s like to desire perfection so deeply you cannot make a decision or take any action - because... FEAR. 

I know what it’s like to spend inordinate amounts of mental energy on a decision because you think making the wrong decision could ruin everything.

I know what it’s like to stay stuck in your head full of worry and doubt, while parading through the world with a big cheesy grin that screams, “I’m fine.  I’m even better than fine.  I’m GREAT.  #EVERYDAMNDAY.  SO GREAT!” - but actually, feel not great at all. 

Probably the most valuable lesson I’ve learned in motherhood and entrepreneurship is that perfect sucks.  In fact, perfect is paralyzing.  And imperfect action is ridiculously liberating. 

If you fancy yourself a perfectionistic kinda gal, this episode will open your eyes in all the best ways.  Listen in - maybe more than once.  And take notes on the beautiful, life-changing gifts of imperfect action.

Thank you to our sponsors:

  • BruMate: Right now, Brumate is giving my listeners a special discount of 15% off your first order when you go to www.brumate.com and use our code SHAMELESS, that's BruMate.
  • Instacart: Get your groceries delivered to your door! Save $10 off your first order at Instacart or on the Instacart mobile app when you use the promo code SHAMELESS10 at checkout.
Apr 17, 2019

Dave Hollis is husband to Rachel Hollis, father to Jackson, Sawyer, Ford and Noah Hollis and the CEO of the Hollis Company after a 17 year run at Disney left his role as President, Theatrical Distribution for The Walt Disney Studios.  Dave looks to take the experiences as global theatrical sales head for Disney, Pixar, Marvel, and Lucas film to the expansion plans in the next, exciting phase of Hollis Company — focusing on media (books/podcasts/radio/tv), live events and merchandise. Dave drives a 1969 Ford Bronco and intermittently likes the family dog, Jeffrey.

I invited Dave to come on the show to talk about what it’s like to have a massive shift in identity as he flipped his profession upside down to leave a successful career in order to support his wife’s career.  I also wanted to learn more about his journey into personal development, as so many of you have asked me how we can get our partners more involved and invested in areas of growth and evolution. I so appreciate Dave showing up to this conversation so OPEN & READY. 

Listen in to hear Dave share:

  • The challenges that present themselves in the face of massive success
  • The power and gift of discipline when life is moving at 100 MPH
  • How his identity has evolved as he walked away from his successful career to support Rachel’s career and dreams
  • His fears and vulnerability around building a new identity
  • How women can get their partners involved and invested in personal development (without nagging & preaching!)
  • Why he stopped using alcohol as a coping skill
  • What his “ally” tattoo means to him as a straight white man who is fully aware of his white privilege
  • A sneak peek into his upcoming book!

Links Mentioned:

Thank you to our sponsors:

  • Lola: Get organic cotton tampons and other hygiene products delivered right to your door. To get 40% off all subscriptions, go to My Lola and use the code SHAMELESS40 at checkout.
  • Hylands: Hylands: For more information about Hylands, visit Hylands.
  • FabFitFun: To get $10 off your first subscription box (making it only $39.99 for $200 worth of products) go to FabFitFun and use the code SHAMELESS at checkout.
Apr 15, 2019

This is going to sound pretty controversial, but I’m saying it anyway.  Because of #truth...

Mom guilt is a lie.

That’s not to say your feelings of guilt aren’t real.  THEY ARE.

But, as you sit in those feelings, please know this:

Mom guilt is a social construct in which women are indoctrinated to think they should feel bad for ever prioritizing themselves, their identity, their careers, or their happiness over their kids.

You know how I know this is true??  Because I know the following:

Men are not asked, “How do you do it all?  How do you juggle your career with your family?

Men are not asked, “Don’t you feel bad when you have to travel for work and you don’t get to see your kids for 3 days?”

Men don’t have to internalize messages like, “I don’t know how you work so much.  I would feel so bad not being at my kid’s games/practices/plays/recitals.”

When men consider taking up new hobbies/activities they don’t automatically think, “That would be awesome, but I would feel so bad taking that time away from my family.”

Women are indoctrinated to feel like shitty moms if they prioritize their careers, their self-care, their sanity over their families needs. 

Men are encouraged to prioritize their careers and hobbies over their families needs - “Climb that corporate ladder!”  “You gotta start golfing with us, man!”  “Meet us every Saturday for pick up basketball!”

I share this all because I want you to take a hard look at your relationship with mom guilt.  Guilt of any kind is not productive.  It keeps us stuck.  It holds us back.  It does not serve any positive purpose.  So, it you’re spending time stuck in mom guilt, you’re wasting time and energy that could be used for so many other positive things in your life. 

Let’s flip this social construct on its head so we can all be more intentional about how we use our energy, our gifts, and our rights to rest (yes, you get to rest more when you stop feeling so damn guilty!)

Listen in to this episode to go on a deep dive into how you’ve been indoctrinated - and how to GET OUT. 

Links mentioned:

Thank you to our sponsors:

  • Bioclarity: Go to BioClarity to get 40% off skincare routines PLUS an additional 15% off EVERYTHING on their website when you use my code LOVELY at checkout.
  • Third Love: To find the perfect fitting bra and get 15% off your first purchase got to Third Love.
Apr 10, 2019

Dr. Debi Silber, is a Shameless Mom to 4 kids ages 16-23 years old, as well as the founder of The PBT Institute, is a Transformational Psychologist and health, mindset, and personal development, expert. She's an award-winning speaker, coach and author of the Amazon #1 Bestselling book: The Unshakable Woman: 4 Steps to Rebuilding Your Body, Mind, and Life After a Life Crisis. Debi has contributed to FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz show, TEDx, The Huffington Post, Forbes, Psychology Today, WebMD, amongst others. Her doctoral study led to two discoveries around how women experience and heal from betrayal. Based on her findings, along with 27 years of health, mindset and lifestyle coaching, she's created a proven approach to help women heal (physically, mentally and emotionally) from a life crisis, specializing in betrayal.

In addition to Debi’s education and professional experience in the field of betrayal and forgiveness - she has lived it all, multiple times.  Her passion comes from her journey, from finding herself in places she didn’t plan, mending and rebuilding relationships that nearly broke her.

Listen in to hear Debi share:

  • Why it’s only the people who are closest to us can actually betray us
  • Why you must unpack all the components of a betrayal
  • The three things that do NOT work when trying to heal from betrayal
  • The 5 Stages from betrayal to post-betrayal breakthrough
  • The necessary path of a betrayer: apology/remorse/restitution
  • How to heal your shame after betrayal
  • The layers & stages of forgiveness and building trust

Links mentioned:

Thank you to our sponsors:

  • Instacart: Get your groceries delivered to your door! Save $10 off your first order at Instacart or on the Instacart mobile app when you use the promo code SHAMELESS10 at checkout.
  • Rothy's: To get free shipping on any order of Rothy’s shoes, as well as free returns, use the code SHAMELESS at checkout.
  • Talkspace: to find your perfect match therapist for a fraction of the cost of traditional therapy, go to Talkspace and use the code SHAMELESS at checkout to save $45 off your first month.
Apr 8, 2019

I think we can all agree that marriage is hard.  It is also awesome.  But it does not come without intentional work.  It’s easy to glorify other people's' marriages and assume they “have it all” when that is never actually the case.

I recently read Michelle Obama’s book, Becoming.  Then I went as saw her speak here in Seattle.  In both instances, I was touched by the way she talks about marriage and essentially the “secrets” of her marriage.

She is married to a dreamer, while she is admittedly much more pragmatic.  She is married to someone who wants to serve all the people, while she wants to prioritize serving her family and those closest to her.  She is married to someone who can’t manage his time to save his life, while she loves structure and schedules and routine (and being on time for it all)!

In reading Michelle’s book and hearing her talk, I was able to curate four secrets to a successful marriage that I think will help all the rest of us:

  1. Set clear boundaries and expectations
  2. Assume your partners have the best intentions
  3. Assume your partner can actually do the things they say they can
  4. Shamelessly build, own, and grow your own identity

Listen in for a deep dive on these concepts around marriage (and to learn how to see your partners' most annoying characteristics as gifts)!

AND make sure to stick around for the end when we talk about asking for support rather than permission.  This is a game changer in how you can maintain your identity as well as a high level of respect and equity in your marriage.

Thank you to our sponsors:

  • Cheers Health: Visit Cheers Health and Enter promo code SHAMELESS at checkout to Get 10% off your first order and a free gift.
  • CareOf: For 50% off your first month of personalized care/of vitamins, visit CareOf and enter the code SHAMELESS50 at checkout.
Apr 3, 2019

Kara Loewentheil is a Master Certified Coach and Host of the UnF*ck Your Brain Podcast. Three years ago she did what every Jewish parent dreams of for their child: She left her legal career running a think tank to become a life coach. Now she teaches feminist women how to undo the effects of patriarchy in their brains and create true authentic confidence from inside. She has grown her coaching business from zero to seven figures in the last 3 years and is passionate about teaching women how to overcome anxiety and self-doubt so they can take on the world.

I have recommended Kara’s podcast more than any other in the last 6 months and so many people have come back to tell me it has transformed their mental game.  So, I knew I needed to get Kara on the show.  Whether you’re wanting to change the way you feel about your body or become a master thought manager in order to change the outcomes in your life, Kara’s brilliance will transform your thought patterns and shift your behavior in powerful ways. 

Listen in to hear Kara share:

  • What thought work is and the power you have to choose your thoughts
  • The practice of shifting into neutral thoughts, rather than forcing ourselves into positive thoughts
  • Why you should embrace that all humans suffer
  • Why thought work is more valuable and beneficial than any diet
  • How thought work can shift your relationship with your body

Links mentioned:

Thank you to our sponsors:

  • Free Fly: You can get 20% off when you visit Free Fly and use promo code SHAMELESS.
  • KiwiCo: Visit KiwiCo and get your first crate free!
  • BarkBox: Get a FREE EXTRA MONTH of Barkbox with any 6 or 12-month subscription by visiting BarkBox.
Apr 1, 2019

A few of you have asked me to do an episode specifically on the struggles of being a stay at home mom (SAHM).  I’m excited to talk about this, cause I’ll be honest… My life’s dream was to be a stay at home mom and 4 months of that “dream” damn near killed me.  I cried uncle and quit that gig (and hired a nanny) when Vinnie was still tiny.  So, I have the UTMOST respect for those of you who stay home with your babies (of any age - even school age)!

I posted on Facebook a couple weeks ago and asked for SAHMs to share their biggest struggles and I found the responses FASCINATING.  First of all, it was really interesting to get a sneak peek into your lives. 

But the most fascinating part??? 

A lot of your struggles are so similar to working moms’ struggles.  And here we all are thinking that working moms and stay at home moms have so little in common and can’t possibly “get” the other sides perspective.  Not so.

Regardless if you’re a SAHM or working mom or work from home mom, I think you’ll learn something from this episode. 

Big thanks to everyone who has reached out to me about this topic and contributed your stories and struggles.  So much love for you. 

Links mentioned:

Thank you to our sponsors:

  • ButcherBox - Get the Ultimate Breakfast Bundle - that’s 2 packages of Bacon and 2 lbs. of Breakfast Sausage for FREE in your first box PLUS $20 off your first box, go to Butcher Box OR enter promo code SHAMELESS.
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